Serious

Preview of my food project

My eyes are dead set on graduation.
But there are going to be so many changes, mainly in lifestyle mindset. I can't believe I won't be in school anymore...at the very least, for 9 months.
There are so many crazy things going on in my life. Graduation is around a month away. Thanksgiving with my boyfriend's family...the holidays in general, especially with my boyfriend. Going to find a new job. Buying a new car. Finding a new place to live. Deciding what I want to do with my life. Preparing for grad school. Back up plan if I don't get accepted. Possible jobs after grad school. Annnnndddd...the prospect of marriage.
And being utterly astonished at where I'm at. This post's title is inspired by the best word to describe my relationship status. Well, it's been there for a while, but I've been trying to push the brakes enough from daily life to really understand my situation, and cure the sense of vertigo these past few months have given me.
I feel like I'm spinning all the time, running and running, giving me precious little time for reflection, and it seems like all my mind wants to reflect on is my relationship. I mean, of course, this is normal, when you are in love, that's what tends to happen. But it makes it difficult to focus on pretty much anything else. Granted, it is pretty important. Putting lots of thought into your decision for a life partner is incredibly important. But despite all of the reflection time I devote to this cause, I can never seem to fully grasp it.
Here's the thing. My boyfriend and I have been dating around 5 months. He really wants to get married, and we have discussed this. I love him, and I can't see myself with anyone else, and I think he's an amazing human being, and he'll be a great life partner, but wow. Marriage.
I suppose I'm not the typical girl who posts all of their wedding ideas on Pinterest for their future wedding 10+ years in advance. I'm more of the type who shrugs and says "Eh, won't have to worry about that for a while. I'll deal with that when I get there."
Except now, I AM there.
We aren't engaged...(yet, haha) but somehow we have started planning for our wedding already.
Thankfully (and strangely), my boyfriend is more of a romantic than I am. He looks me in the eye and wraps his arms around me, and excitedly asks me if I want to engage in planning more things for our wedding. Of course, I swoon inwardly and love every second of it, but it's very jarring to be in this situation when I was convinced I wasn't going to get married for at least another 7 years.
I finally confronted him and said that at this moment, I was glad that we were planning to get married after I finished grad school (in ~3 years) because there was no way I was ready now. And he agreed with me. That right now, in this moment, we were not ready. And I was relieved. I no longer felt the pressure. We have time.
We both look forward to the day, but it won't be for a while, so we can let it just sit in the nebulous future, promising adventure and change and union.

And in the meantime, I am happy. For the present, for the future. He gives me joy...I have never been as happy as I am right now, in this season of my life.