Staring into the void

Graduated. Holidays are over. Job hunting.
I'm honestly so ready to work. As weird as it sounds, I crave the routine. I want the steady income, and the sense of contribution to a workplace and society.
I'm strangely calm in all of this otherwise anxiety-inducing situation, though. Despite the unknown in terms of job, graduate school, and therefore future, I feel a sense of peace. This is surely from God, it's not like me to not be extremely anxious about all of this.
My boyfriend and my roommate have been a great support for me in all of this as well. I feel so blessed to have them in my life, they make me so happy and loved! <3

I had written that earlier in the month. I have successfully found a job since then, so I'm transitioning into that! I like it so far, it's a much better environment than my previous job, which is such a relief!

However, what is really on my mind is grad school.

My application was reviewed, and I had an interview a few days ago. I will hear soon whether I got in. In the meantime, my concern is on the troubles that I will encounter if I get in.

Problems:
1. The potential rigor of the program, balancing internships and schoolwork with the rest of life. This actually is one of my lowest concerns, as I'm just going to take it as it comes. I see people around me do similar challenges, and they survive.
2. Grad school is expensive. Especially considering that I probably won't be able to have a job (for several reasons, as described below), and I will be paying for housing, food, gas, etc. most if not all of the duration.
3. I will most likely have to commute long distances for at least part of the duration. This will take a toll on my car, give me less time in general, will be annoying, and cost me loads in gas.
4. The internship placement process leaves a lot of unknowns. I may end up living in a new city with no friends or family for extended periods of time. Normally, I would like the adventure, but now that I have and have learned to greatly appreciate a support system, the thought terrifies me in terms of what it may do to my mental health.
5. I worry about how this will affect my relationship with my boyfriend. We haven't spent long periods of time apart from each other, once we spent 2 weeks apart and nearly went crazy. I have never, ever wanted a long distance relationship. But I love him and if that's what it takes, I'll do it, but I see so, so, so many future problems this might pose, knowing myself and him, that my heart aches at how hard it will be on both of us.
6. We also want to get married, and this delays things. We foresaw this and have talked about this before, but it still is a huge bummer for both of us.
7. Over the past few years, I have felt distracted from the original passion that drove me to pursue this program. In order to get through this, I need to find it again.

On the other hand, I really really want a master's degree and this will allow me to get my RD at the same time.

It's time to lean in and listen to God's voice, time to pray for his guidance and strength.

Raspberry WIP for my ongoing food project