My Life is Now

Wall decor for my room. 
I started with a canvas and cut strips out for the trees, 
then painted with acrylic, adding fake leaves for color.

Grad school starts next month. Oh dear. 

I'm going to have to white-knuckle it through this upcoming crazy time. I just wish it were over...and it hasn't even started yet. I know it's necessary, for educational, professional, and personal growth reasons. I just wish that I could look forward to it a little more. 

I am thankful that it is shorter than the average program. 16 months isn't horrible. It's not bad at all, actually. And after that I'll be sporting a few letters after my name, and be employable. I am way too excited to jump into a salaried job. I'm excited to finally be able to start my life.

...Now that I write that down, it doesn't seem right to think that way. My life is now. I have an idea of my future, but I can't control it. God has His own plans for me, and no matter how much I want to have certain things...in the end, it's not always up to me. Life happens. 

I'm very much a future-oriented person. If I have something to work for, to hope for, to dream for, to look forward to...I thrive. But if I don't feel like my future holds anything worth gritting my teeth for, I get really, really hopeless. 

But I think God's trying to teach me...sometimes I won't know the future. And regardless of what it brings, weather it exceeds my expectations or leaves me disappointed...it's worth living. As long as it's a life lived in the moment, displaying accentuated thankfulness for God's goodness, whatever that looks like - even though it may be painful for that moment - or a season.

That being said, I hope my boyfriend proposes soon because I really don't want to get engaged during school, how distracting would that be