Persevering

Perseverance. Patience. Trust. 

Jumpluff (from memory); Clip Studio Paint

Between this COVID nightmare, my spiritual life, and job searching, these are things I need to focus on.

I don't think this pandemic has been easy on anyone, but I truly did not think it was affecting me that much. Both my husband and I still have jobs, I still go to work, he works from home. But COVID changes the environment. It changes how we make decisions. It changes what things we can do. It changes people's mood. It changes how much people can see the people they love and care for. It changes how we can plan for the future. It changes how we view our careers. It changes our home life. It changes how we spend our time. It changes our prayers. It changes nearly everything...to think that most of the entire world is impacted as well, is insane. 

We do not know how this is going to end. At my work, we don't know what's going to happen in the next few days, weeks, much less months. We have to keep telling people that this thing is far from over, and put your relationship with your dying parents on hold, that needs to wait. Because if you don't it may speed up the dying process for them and others.

I am no where near as fatigued as those working in the hospital, but we are feeling fatigued as well. In these past 8 months, we ARE family for these people. We have taken the place of spouses, sons, and daughters, nieces and nephews, because those people can't come in anymore. We. Are. Family. For these residents. And we are no substitute. We cannot replace those whom these people love. And they are suffering.

Honestly, it's a heavy burden to bear. 

Perseverance. Patience. Trust. 

God has put COVID-19 in our lives for a reason. He uses trials to refine us, to break us down and build us back up again, better, and more sanctified.

That is what I want to gain from this pandemic.